He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize