belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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