why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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