Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
