Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
