so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
