I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
