Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
