I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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