I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Small penises have feelings too.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
