is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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