My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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