You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
