Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i permit you to call me
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
