I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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