i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
