What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
