i jhust puked up my retainher.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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