yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
