What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
