Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
