if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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