East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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