Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
my liver is dry heaving
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