Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
