So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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