He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
