Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
