You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
