I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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