Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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