yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
