So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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