That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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