his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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