You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
