I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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