one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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