i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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