im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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