i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
