Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
