At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
