Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
