Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
