Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
