Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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