how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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