I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
