He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize