How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
