how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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