ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
How's work?
Spinning.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
