Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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