didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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