Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
