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The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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