I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
she looked like the before picture.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
