jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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