Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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